Funny how you can feel one way about something one day, and then feel totally different the next. Maybe it was the time in Chico.. I don't know.. but I had been feeling so comfortable in my own skin. I felt.. well.. good, I guess. It could be that there's been so much going on since I returned home that I've been sleeping very little.. we all know how lack of sleep makes you a little emotional and sometimes crazy. At any rate, I'm feeling a little down. It's hard to have people in your life who seem to enjoy pointing your faults out to you.. like somehow it makes them feel better about themselves. Or maybe she's just negative.. I don't really know. Now, the fact that this is normal behavior for said person should make me feel better.. knowing I'm not the only one she does it to, and knowing she probably doesn't even understand that she's hurting me. But all I feel is lame.. definitely WAY below the "good enough" par. So in retaliation, I throw myself into my schoolwork.. I clean.. I work- out.. I do all this stuff that I feel like will make me a better person if I can do it perfectly. It SOUNDS like I'm leading a healthy lifestyle by doing those things, but really it's my unhealthy mind driving it. So does it count as living healthy if your reasons for doing it are to somehow show certain people that you're better than they think?
It was a LONG day at work today. I love Mason, but I really reconsidered the whole having kids thing today. First, after he took his morning nap, he puked all over himself and his crib.. poor little guy. It was so sad. And smelly. I was really concerned why he was vomiting all of a sudden, so I stuck him in the bathtub (it had barely any water in it), and ran down the stairs to grab the house phone, and then ran back up. I think I was gone a total of like, 5 seconds MAYBE. When I get back into the bathroom, he has managed to not only poop in the bath water, but it playing with the poop. I thought I was going to die. For those of you who don't know, I am a SERIOUS germaphobe. I CANNOT handle bacteria and germs. There's exactly two people living in my apartment, and I've bought enough cleaning supplies with antibacterial stuff or bleach in it, I could probably open my own store. Half a bottle of bleach, scalding water, and a can of Lysol disinfectant spray later, I put Mason back in the bath and finished cleaning him up. At 2:30, Tracy, Mason's old nanny, dropped Maddy off (the 11 month old I used to watch with Mason) for three hours so that she could get a headstart on the traffic up to Santa Barbara. This was pretty much a terrible idea. Mason is NOT used to sharing me, and he didn't like it at ALL. He would SCREAM and cry if I picked Maddy up (which was sort of necessary since Mason can walk and Maddy can't), spent half the the three hours clinging to my pant leg like that would somehow get Maddy to see that I was HIS territory, and would snatch any toy Maddy picked up. Plus, although Maddy can't walk, she does crawl.. and that child is like a rocket.. not to mention the fact that she officially is obsessed with climbing stairs that she's bound to break her neck on. I'm not sure how my mom survived having twins.. I watched the two babies for 3 hours and was so tired, I felt like I was going to fall over.
It is funny to me how once women reach their young 20's, they start to like, hormonally want a baby. I know a lot of guys think women are just baby crazy, but in reality, we almost can't help it. Amanda and I were discussing this up in Chico.. how it seems like we hit 23 and the hormones kicked in and it's baby fever all the time. Her soon to be sister in law, Michelle, is 26 and says it just gets worst the older you get. Ugh. So not fun. Even after such a horrendous day, when I talked to my mother in law, she informed me that Dan's cousin is 5 months pregnant and my hormones went all crazy again. I mean, part of my isn't in any hurry.. but it's hard when it feels like all your married friends and family are starting families, and you're still waiting. I KNOW it will happen in God's timing, but that doesn't always make it easy. Stupid hormones.
I miss Amanda. And Chico. Boo.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
You Start to Wonder Why You're Here Not There
I went to visit my good friend Amanda in Chico this last week. We've now been friends for over a decade, and I wonder how we all of sudden are old enough to be able to say that. Yeah, yeah.. I know.. We're still young.. But sometimes it really doesn't feel that way. At any rate, I had a great time.. but I'm thinking maybe I'm not cut out to be a "normal" college student. Of course, being three years into marriage, thinking about having kids, and having grown up way faster than I should have might have something to do with it.
I have been struggling a lot lately with people who think they've had to face challenges in life when in reality, they don't understand how blessed they are. I've tried really hard to be one of those people who understands that what is incredibly hard for one person may be a cake walk to another who has been through more.. I try really hard not to compare lives.. but sometimes it's just too much and I feel like smacking people in the head. I know a lot of it has to do with immaturity.. most young adults think they know it all when in reality, they know squat. I think my biggest struggle is when said people complain about their lives, or write crazy emo blogs, or always negative, and really, they have no reason to be. Seriously, people. Let's learn to count our blessings, shall we?
I think I'm going through a weird growing up stage. Or maybe it's not so weird.. Dan kept telling me it would happen eventually, but I always thought he was crazy. Ha ha. I'm learning not to care what people think about me. Most of you don't know how huge of a struggle this is for me. While I tend to come off as having a pretty firm backbone in dealing with other people, it REALLY bothers me when I'm not well liked. I have spent considerable time and energy in the past trying to be this person that in my mind was perfect.. and I failed miserably. The bottom line is you can't make everyone happy all the time, so you have to pick your battles and say what you need to say and then just let go. In the past two months, I've had a couple of relationships sort of end in one way or another. Sometimes it is stuff I've done, sometimes it's stuff the other person has done, and sometimes it's both. I'm learning that friendships tend to go through cycles.. people I was close to a year ago are NOT the same people I'm close to know.. and somehow I'm finally ok with that. Like, I know that when I'm back in Germany, for example, I'll still be good friends with Jill despite both of us having such hectic lives that we rarely get to talk anymore (you'll always the static cling to my dryer sheet!).. and I think that's how friendship should be. And sometimes friendships will run their course and then end, and that's okay, too. As kids, it somehow gets set in your mind that you HAVE to stay friends with people forever, and that isn't reality.. it needs to be okay to step back and move on rather than torturing yourself in relationships you aren't benefiting from in any way. Hopefully, there WILL be people that you stay friends with forever, but every friend is a forever friend.
I still am struggling, however, with getting over family members deciding they do not like you. I guess I have this really old fashioned, conservative view of family that you should always have each other's backs. It's what I was brought up to believe, anyway. Both my parents come from large families, and seeing them all interact was awesome. Don't get me wrong.. there are for SURE issues that crop up as time goes on (especially since women tend to be snippy and petty).. but it seems to me that you never give up on family. I've been thinking about this a lot because today my brother, Max, was asked to move out of my parents house due to literally YEARS worth of breaking the rules and rebellion. My problem is not with my dad and stepmom at all.. I know their hearts, and I know first hand what is like to live with Max and put up with his crap. My problem is that everyone has an opinion about it.. so I'm informing everyone now that I don't want to hear it. I seriously cannot handle people who think they know what should be done in a situation they have never been in themselves or experienced first hand. People always tend to say "I would never do that" or "I would never allow that to happen," when in reality, they don't know what they would or would not do. Sure, I'd like to think for example that if someone had a gun to my head and asked if I believed in God, and I KNEW I was going to die if I said yes, I would like to think I would be honest and admit my faith. However, since I've never actually been asked that question with a gun pointed at my head, I can't say without a shadow of a doubt that I would be brave enough to say yes. I don't think anyone can. Or take for example those abused women you see on like Oprah or whatever.. I remember seeing women in terrible relationships where the guy controls EVERYTHING and thinking "How stupid are these women? That will never be me!" Yet at 19, I found myself in the exact same position.. I was in a relationship with a guy who simply tried to hold on too tightly and I became his everything. And the whole time all I could think was, "How did I get here?!" Later, when I shared my testimony with the high school girls at my church, a lot of the girls took on my stance of "I would never do that." And yet, within a couple years, half those girls had dated guys that were bad news. Really, I think it's best to avoid the word "never" all together. God will seriously show you stuff about yourself you'd rather not see if you start pulling the never talk.
Dan comes home in two months!! We're officially in countdown mode!! So exciting and scary all at the same time! We're looking forward to a trip planned to Big Bear for a few days.. I'm determined to go para sailing, but we'll see how gutsy I'm really feeling once we're up there. Dan left the remote area he has been in for the last few weeks, which is a huge relief for me.. we can now go back to talking like every day. In other news, while I was in Chico, my little guy, Mason, that I nanny for started walking. He had started doing the whole wobbly, ten-step, pregnant woman walk before I left, but now he powers around the house. It's crazy! He's growing so fast.. it makes me sad to think I'll feel like my own kids are growing even faster.
To close, let me leave with some tips for all you single guys out there that I learned while in Chico:
1) Telling a girl she has a "nice aura" does not make you sound deep, it makes you sound like you're on drugs and perhaps a little crazy.
2) Showing a girl pictures of porn you've downloaded to your cell phone is not going to get you into her pants. In fact, you'll be lucky if she doesn't run away screaming about the pervert with the gross cell phone.
3) Asking a girl what she thinks of another girls boobs is not a wise conversation starter. Asking her if she'd rather be a grizzly bear or a koala bear, however, is.
4) Calling a girl some type of candy generally makes us laugh.. but know that it's AT you, not WITH you.
5) Unless the girl is a total slut, she's going to want to get to know you before you start making grabs at her butt. Less than 24 minutes is not an ample amount of time.
6) Playing with a married woman's hair: bad. Tickling a married woman: worse. Reaching around and grabbing a married woman's boobs: going to get you knocked out.
7) When offering a girl a place to sleep, make sure she understands you do not mean with the shovels in the backyard shed.
8) If you've been drinking to the point that you are projectile vomiting into the bushes and all over the patio, a girl high-tailing it out of there is not a "heartless bitch." She's merely attempting to not start projectile vomiting herself from the smell and inevitably making the whole situation worse.
To be continued, I'm sure. :)
I have been struggling a lot lately with people who think they've had to face challenges in life when in reality, they don't understand how blessed they are. I've tried really hard to be one of those people who understands that what is incredibly hard for one person may be a cake walk to another who has been through more.. I try really hard not to compare lives.. but sometimes it's just too much and I feel like smacking people in the head. I know a lot of it has to do with immaturity.. most young adults think they know it all when in reality, they know squat. I think my biggest struggle is when said people complain about their lives, or write crazy emo blogs, or always negative, and really, they have no reason to be. Seriously, people. Let's learn to count our blessings, shall we?
I think I'm going through a weird growing up stage. Or maybe it's not so weird.. Dan kept telling me it would happen eventually, but I always thought he was crazy. Ha ha. I'm learning not to care what people think about me. Most of you don't know how huge of a struggle this is for me. While I tend to come off as having a pretty firm backbone in dealing with other people, it REALLY bothers me when I'm not well liked. I have spent considerable time and energy in the past trying to be this person that in my mind was perfect.. and I failed miserably. The bottom line is you can't make everyone happy all the time, so you have to pick your battles and say what you need to say and then just let go. In the past two months, I've had a couple of relationships sort of end in one way or another. Sometimes it is stuff I've done, sometimes it's stuff the other person has done, and sometimes it's both. I'm learning that friendships tend to go through cycles.. people I was close to a year ago are NOT the same people I'm close to know.. and somehow I'm finally ok with that. Like, I know that when I'm back in Germany, for example, I'll still be good friends with Jill despite both of us having such hectic lives that we rarely get to talk anymore (you'll always the static cling to my dryer sheet!).. and I think that's how friendship should be. And sometimes friendships will run their course and then end, and that's okay, too. As kids, it somehow gets set in your mind that you HAVE to stay friends with people forever, and that isn't reality.. it needs to be okay to step back and move on rather than torturing yourself in relationships you aren't benefiting from in any way. Hopefully, there WILL be people that you stay friends with forever, but every friend is a forever friend.
I still am struggling, however, with getting over family members deciding they do not like you. I guess I have this really old fashioned, conservative view of family that you should always have each other's backs. It's what I was brought up to believe, anyway. Both my parents come from large families, and seeing them all interact was awesome. Don't get me wrong.. there are for SURE issues that crop up as time goes on (especially since women tend to be snippy and petty).. but it seems to me that you never give up on family. I've been thinking about this a lot because today my brother, Max, was asked to move out of my parents house due to literally YEARS worth of breaking the rules and rebellion. My problem is not with my dad and stepmom at all.. I know their hearts, and I know first hand what is like to live with Max and put up with his crap. My problem is that everyone has an opinion about it.. so I'm informing everyone now that I don't want to hear it. I seriously cannot handle people who think they know what should be done in a situation they have never been in themselves or experienced first hand. People always tend to say "I would never do that" or "I would never allow that to happen," when in reality, they don't know what they would or would not do. Sure, I'd like to think for example that if someone had a gun to my head and asked if I believed in God, and I KNEW I was going to die if I said yes, I would like to think I would be honest and admit my faith. However, since I've never actually been asked that question with a gun pointed at my head, I can't say without a shadow of a doubt that I would be brave enough to say yes. I don't think anyone can. Or take for example those abused women you see on like Oprah or whatever.. I remember seeing women in terrible relationships where the guy controls EVERYTHING and thinking "How stupid are these women? That will never be me!" Yet at 19, I found myself in the exact same position.. I was in a relationship with a guy who simply tried to hold on too tightly and I became his everything. And the whole time all I could think was, "How did I get here?!" Later, when I shared my testimony with the high school girls at my church, a lot of the girls took on my stance of "I would never do that." And yet, within a couple years, half those girls had dated guys that were bad news. Really, I think it's best to avoid the word "never" all together. God will seriously show you stuff about yourself you'd rather not see if you start pulling the never talk.
Dan comes home in two months!! We're officially in countdown mode!! So exciting and scary all at the same time! We're looking forward to a trip planned to Big Bear for a few days.. I'm determined to go para sailing, but we'll see how gutsy I'm really feeling once we're up there. Dan left the remote area he has been in for the last few weeks, which is a huge relief for me.. we can now go back to talking like every day. In other news, while I was in Chico, my little guy, Mason, that I nanny for started walking. He had started doing the whole wobbly, ten-step, pregnant woman walk before I left, but now he powers around the house. It's crazy! He's growing so fast.. it makes me sad to think I'll feel like my own kids are growing even faster.
To close, let me leave with some tips for all you single guys out there that I learned while in Chico:
1) Telling a girl she has a "nice aura" does not make you sound deep, it makes you sound like you're on drugs and perhaps a little crazy.
2) Showing a girl pictures of porn you've downloaded to your cell phone is not going to get you into her pants. In fact, you'll be lucky if she doesn't run away screaming about the pervert with the gross cell phone.
3) Asking a girl what she thinks of another girls boobs is not a wise conversation starter. Asking her if she'd rather be a grizzly bear or a koala bear, however, is.
4) Calling a girl some type of candy generally makes us laugh.. but know that it's AT you, not WITH you.
5) Unless the girl is a total slut, she's going to want to get to know you before you start making grabs at her butt. Less than 24 minutes is not an ample amount of time.
6) Playing with a married woman's hair: bad. Tickling a married woman: worse. Reaching around and grabbing a married woman's boobs: going to get you knocked out.
7) When offering a girl a place to sleep, make sure she understands you do not mean with the shovels in the backyard shed.
8) If you've been drinking to the point that you are projectile vomiting into the bushes and all over the patio, a girl high-tailing it out of there is not a "heartless bitch." She's merely attempting to not start projectile vomiting herself from the smell and inevitably making the whole situation worse.
To be continued, I'm sure. :)
Thursday, April 10, 2008
I'll take the hurricane.
Man, it's been a rough couple of weeks. However, as the Bible says: "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me" (2 Corinthians 12:9). I have definitely been feeling weak.. in more areas than one.
I was sick from Friday until Tuesday of this last weekend. It SERIOUSLY sucked. I didn't even get out of bed for four days (aside from like, peeing, and that took effort), and threw up so much I got all crazy dehydrated. So then I had to go to urgent care and get IV's and three different medications. Fantastic. I normally have great veins, but they were so "dry", the nurse missed the first time. Now the inside of my right arm pretty much looks like I've been shooting up. The cool thing about getting sick was I reminded how great my family and friends are. I am loved, and that's always an awesome feeling.
Other than the physical sickness, I'm pretty emotionally sick these days as well. I think I just get overwhelmed. I'm not like, depressed or anything.. there's just a lot going on. There have been several people lately, people who are SUPER close to me, that I've had to practice tough love with. It really isn't any fun at all. What sucks is I end up feeling guilty. Even if I KNOW I'm totally in the right, these people know how to act and exactly what to say to make me feel like the worst and most cruel person on the planet. I've cried a LOT. I just have to trust that I'm doing what is right, and what is Biblical, and try not to dwell on it.. much easier said than done.
Seminary is insane right now as well. There was a huge mix-up with a bunch of students in one of my classes.. half my classmates had tests that never reached their destination, including my own. It ended up being a good thing in the end though.. long story, but it's awesome how God steps in and helps you out right when you need it. My next two classes started on the first, but for some reason, I didn't get the keys to it until the 7th. This means that I not only have to re-take the test from my last class, I'm also trying to play two weeks of catch-up. My student advisor has no idea why the got sent late, but luckily I'm not going to lose points in my classes. School is a tad overwhelming at the moment. I know it will be worth it in the end, and usually I totally love it.. but we all have weeks where we're just burned out.
I've also been having a lot of friend issues that I won't even go into. Sigh. Satan is on the offense in my life right now, for sure. But ya know, in all honesty, I kind of like so much going on. Yeah, it's stressful and overwhelming, but at least it isn't boring. I see some of the lives around me, and I would much rather being growing as a person and in Christ than not have anything going on at all. I'm a firm believer that, especially for Christians, if you honestly do not ever have any trials or hard times or whatever, you're doing something wrong. If Satan does not at least attack you every once in a while, that probably means you're living a life not worth attacking because you are not a threat. I want to be a threat, so, as the song says below, I'll take the hurricane.
"Saw first sight of a fire
Stepped right up to the flame
Could have taken my time
But I'm really not the type
To be shaken by what have
I was up for the fight
Pulled out into the water
Lost myself in the waves
I didn't really care
If all in love's not fair
I was going nowhere
And I was already there
Could have left town that night
Found a good place to hide
In the safety of a landslide
Far away from you
Could have just saved my life
Found higher ground to climb
Ask me to choose between
The boring and the pouring rain
I'll take the hurricane
Taped my heart to a window
Watched you shatter the glass
I was laughing all the while
Like an intoxicated child
Denying my denial
Guess I needed something wild
Should've left town that night
Found a good place to hide
In the safety of a landslide
Far away from you
Could have just saved my life
Found higher ground to climb
Ask me to choose between
The boring and the pouring rain
I'll take the hurricane
Guess I started the fire
Stepped right into the flame
I'll take the hurricane."
-Angie Mattson
I was sick from Friday until Tuesday of this last weekend. It SERIOUSLY sucked. I didn't even get out of bed for four days (aside from like, peeing, and that took effort), and threw up so much I got all crazy dehydrated. So then I had to go to urgent care and get IV's and three different medications. Fantastic. I normally have great veins, but they were so "dry", the nurse missed the first time. Now the inside of my right arm pretty much looks like I've been shooting up. The cool thing about getting sick was I reminded how great my family and friends are. I am loved, and that's always an awesome feeling.
Other than the physical sickness, I'm pretty emotionally sick these days as well. I think I just get overwhelmed. I'm not like, depressed or anything.. there's just a lot going on. There have been several people lately, people who are SUPER close to me, that I've had to practice tough love with. It really isn't any fun at all. What sucks is I end up feeling guilty. Even if I KNOW I'm totally in the right, these people know how to act and exactly what to say to make me feel like the worst and most cruel person on the planet. I've cried a LOT. I just have to trust that I'm doing what is right, and what is Biblical, and try not to dwell on it.. much easier said than done.
Seminary is insane right now as well. There was a huge mix-up with a bunch of students in one of my classes.. half my classmates had tests that never reached their destination, including my own. It ended up being a good thing in the end though.. long story, but it's awesome how God steps in and helps you out right when you need it. My next two classes started on the first, but for some reason, I didn't get the keys to it until the 7th. This means that I not only have to re-take the test from my last class, I'm also trying to play two weeks of catch-up. My student advisor has no idea why the got sent late, but luckily I'm not going to lose points in my classes. School is a tad overwhelming at the moment. I know it will be worth it in the end, and usually I totally love it.. but we all have weeks where we're just burned out.
I've also been having a lot of friend issues that I won't even go into. Sigh. Satan is on the offense in my life right now, for sure. But ya know, in all honesty, I kind of like so much going on. Yeah, it's stressful and overwhelming, but at least it isn't boring. I see some of the lives around me, and I would much rather being growing as a person and in Christ than not have anything going on at all. I'm a firm believer that, especially for Christians, if you honestly do not ever have any trials or hard times or whatever, you're doing something wrong. If Satan does not at least attack you every once in a while, that probably means you're living a life not worth attacking because you are not a threat. I want to be a threat, so, as the song says below, I'll take the hurricane.
"Saw first sight of a fire
Stepped right up to the flame
Could have taken my time
But I'm really not the type
To be shaken by what have
I was up for the fight
Pulled out into the water
Lost myself in the waves
I didn't really care
If all in love's not fair
I was going nowhere
And I was already there
Could have left town that night
Found a good place to hide
In the safety of a landslide
Far away from you
Could have just saved my life
Found higher ground to climb
Ask me to choose between
The boring and the pouring rain
I'll take the hurricane
Taped my heart to a window
Watched you shatter the glass
I was laughing all the while
Like an intoxicated child
Denying my denial
Guess I needed something wild
Should've left town that night
Found a good place to hide
In the safety of a landslide
Far away from you
Could have just saved my life
Found higher ground to climb
Ask me to choose between
The boring and the pouring rain
I'll take the hurricane
Guess I started the fire
Stepped right into the flame
I'll take the hurricane."
-Angie Mattson
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Oh, woe to me.
If you can tell me what movie that line is from, I'll give you a cookie! ;) Look at me blogging after only two days! See, I'm making an effort. If only I had this much motivation every day of the week...
SO! Watching shows like "Kids Say the Darndest Things" (I'm having issues with the word darndest. Surely that it is not in fact an actual word.) always makes me laugh. It also makes me take a step back and think about when I was a child how I misinterpreted the world around me. From a kid's perspective, things get pretty jumbled up, and generally parents have no idea their kids are even confused. Example? I grew up in the church. My parents were die hard Jesus freaks and so every Sunday morning, I would first attend Sunday School and then be dragged into what became known as "Big Church." Where my siblings, peers, and I got this phrase is still up for debate.. I think it had something to do with the fact that grown-ups were bigger than we were. At any rate, I have very vivid memories of the times spent in worship. Most of the songs I learned by heart long before I could read, so sometimes the actual lyrics to the hymn versus what I was hearing around did not always match up. I clearly remember standing between my mom and my dad as a four year old, singing at the top of my lungs: "He is exalted, the King is exalted, and I, I will praise Him!" Little did my parents know that I had no idea what the word "exalted" meant. In fact, my little girl brain registered "exalted" as "salted," and I spent numerous nights pondering why in the world we would want to salt Jesus. But who was I to question the often bizarre and absurd world our parents lived in? You know what I'm talking about.. that strange, almost 4th dimensional realm that, as kids, we saw adults circulating in. Grown-ups had strange grooming rituals ("Mommy, why are you putting that green slime on your face?") and even stranger mating habits (we all remember how our faces contorted in horror upon being given the knowledge of procreation). I can only imagine how much Mason (the little guy I nanny for) is picking up from me. I tend to spend a lot of time talking to him as if he were an adult rather than a child.. sometimes I don't even notice I'm doing it. I will jabber on and on about life and things he should know and what surfaces or objects he should avoid because they are crawling with germs and deadly bacteria that could, at any given moment, stage a coupe against our healthy immune systems. And while we're on the subject of nasty amoeba's, if you have a child that is still in the phases where they want to stick everything in their mouth, I strongly suggest NOT having a cat that is allowed both indoors and outdoors. I almost had heart failure when I noticed Mason chewing on something, only to discover it was a feather from a dead bird the cat, Milton, had dragged into the house and generously deposited on the rug in the hallway in front of the bathroom.. I was convinced Mason had become infected with some horrid bird disease.
With all that said, it's funny how we, as adults, take certain things for granted. I'm not talking about people or money or what not, I'm talking about things that just are. Case and point? The garbage disposal. When was the last time you really sat down and thought long and hard about how the garbage disposal works and where all that junk in the sink goes? Well, my last time was in fact today. Our sink has had a leak for heaven only knows how long now, and neither Anna nor I have gotten around to call in the little man to fix it. We were not surprised when the sink started backing up. But when Anna turned on the garbage disposal, the problem made itself more than apparent. I said to her, from my spot across the room on the couch, that it appeared to be broken, and she agreed. She then mentioned that she had tried to collect all of the little ends of the Otter Pops I had cut off into the sink, but maybe some had escaped. I stared at her blankly. I had no idea what Otter Pop ends had to do with our congested sink. Anna, in her calm and patient manner, said to me, "Plastic isn't biodegradable." Again, a blank stare. I KNOW plastic isn't biodegradable, but again, what did that have to do with the kitchen sink? All of a sudden, I started to feel the earth tilt on it's axis.. something was not right. Anna obviously knew something that I did not. This brings us back to the idea of things that just ARE. In Amber World, word association is a must. Because the term "garbage disposal" has the word garbage in it, I immediately assumed that anything you throw down the sink inevitably ends up at the garbage dump with last night's leftovers and Dan's holey sock. Apparently, friends, this is not the case. My entire life, I just assumed that anything that was small enough to fit in the sink hole and also frail enough to be chopped up in the disposal's metal teeth were fair game. But this is just not so. In fact, the garbage disposal actually ends up dumping into the sewer system along with the water being flushed with it (how I did not put those two together, I don't know). So really, we shouldn't be putting anything down the garbage disposal other than maybe food debris left over from dinner. Plastic Otter Pop tops are a definite no no, along with all the hard artichoke pieces I recall trying to jam down there... that body was probably a bad idea.. hmmmm.. ;)
I seriously do not know how I have gone through my entire life not knowing where the garbage disposal leads. In Germany, we didn't even HAVE a garbage disposal, so apparently the magic only happens in the United States. But it makes me a little nervous.. I mean, how many other things do I take for granted? I remember the first time I had to pull the garbage out to the curb because Dan was out in the field. The first time around, I forgot all together. Apparently, the garbage man does not have time to drag my garbage out from the backyard. German trash only gets picked up every other week, so by the time the NEXT garbage day rolled around, I was more than ready to get it out of my house before it grew legs or started talking. But get this! There is no magic "Trash Can Return" fairy! After days of our garbage cans being the only ones still sitting out on the street, the little old lady downstairs ended up dragging them back behind the house herself. Dan always did it without talking about it, so it never even crossed my mind that I would need to put them back. Along those same lines is my problem with washing my own car. I have four brothers and two dads, so there has never been any need for me to wash or clean out my own car. All I knew was that every couple of months, I would walk out to my car and find it fresh as a daisy with a wax job to boot. Obviously, the Car Wash Fairy had been running amock the night before. Imagine my surpirse when, upon getting married, my car started to get dirtier and dirtier without any explaination as to why. I had assumed Dan would be the new Car Wash Fairy. I guess the tights didn't fit.
Anyway, it's late, and I have to work bright and early tomorrow morning. I will be spending the day trying to refrain from using any words that Mason may subconsciously be storing away to use as blackmail against me when he goes through his terrible two's. Oh, and P.S., I looked it up. Damndest is a word, and therefore darndest gets to be a word by default.
SO! Watching shows like "Kids Say the Darndest Things" (I'm having issues with the word darndest. Surely that it is not in fact an actual word.) always makes me laugh. It also makes me take a step back and think about when I was a child how I misinterpreted the world around me. From a kid's perspective, things get pretty jumbled up, and generally parents have no idea their kids are even confused. Example? I grew up in the church. My parents were die hard Jesus freaks and so every Sunday morning, I would first attend Sunday School and then be dragged into what became known as "Big Church." Where my siblings, peers, and I got this phrase is still up for debate.. I think it had something to do with the fact that grown-ups were bigger than we were. At any rate, I have very vivid memories of the times spent in worship. Most of the songs I learned by heart long before I could read, so sometimes the actual lyrics to the hymn versus what I was hearing around did not always match up. I clearly remember standing between my mom and my dad as a four year old, singing at the top of my lungs: "He is exalted, the King is exalted, and I, I will praise Him!" Little did my parents know that I had no idea what the word "exalted" meant. In fact, my little girl brain registered "exalted" as "salted," and I spent numerous nights pondering why in the world we would want to salt Jesus. But who was I to question the often bizarre and absurd world our parents lived in? You know what I'm talking about.. that strange, almost 4th dimensional realm that, as kids, we saw adults circulating in. Grown-ups had strange grooming rituals ("Mommy, why are you putting that green slime on your face?") and even stranger mating habits (we all remember how our faces contorted in horror upon being given the knowledge of procreation). I can only imagine how much Mason (the little guy I nanny for) is picking up from me. I tend to spend a lot of time talking to him as if he were an adult rather than a child.. sometimes I don't even notice I'm doing it. I will jabber on and on about life and things he should know and what surfaces or objects he should avoid because they are crawling with germs and deadly bacteria that could, at any given moment, stage a coupe against our healthy immune systems. And while we're on the subject of nasty amoeba's, if you have a child that is still in the phases where they want to stick everything in their mouth, I strongly suggest NOT having a cat that is allowed both indoors and outdoors. I almost had heart failure when I noticed Mason chewing on something, only to discover it was a feather from a dead bird the cat, Milton, had dragged into the house and generously deposited on the rug in the hallway in front of the bathroom.. I was convinced Mason had become infected with some horrid bird disease.
With all that said, it's funny how we, as adults, take certain things for granted. I'm not talking about people or money or what not, I'm talking about things that just are. Case and point? The garbage disposal. When was the last time you really sat down and thought long and hard about how the garbage disposal works and where all that junk in the sink goes? Well, my last time was in fact today. Our sink has had a leak for heaven only knows how long now, and neither Anna nor I have gotten around to call in the little man to fix it. We were not surprised when the sink started backing up. But when Anna turned on the garbage disposal, the problem made itself more than apparent. I said to her, from my spot across the room on the couch, that it appeared to be broken, and she agreed. She then mentioned that she had tried to collect all of the little ends of the Otter Pops I had cut off into the sink, but maybe some had escaped. I stared at her blankly. I had no idea what Otter Pop ends had to do with our congested sink. Anna, in her calm and patient manner, said to me, "Plastic isn't biodegradable." Again, a blank stare. I KNOW plastic isn't biodegradable, but again, what did that have to do with the kitchen sink? All of a sudden, I started to feel the earth tilt on it's axis.. something was not right. Anna obviously knew something that I did not. This brings us back to the idea of things that just ARE. In Amber World, word association is a must. Because the term "garbage disposal" has the word garbage in it, I immediately assumed that anything you throw down the sink inevitably ends up at the garbage dump with last night's leftovers and Dan's holey sock. Apparently, friends, this is not the case. My entire life, I just assumed that anything that was small enough to fit in the sink hole and also frail enough to be chopped up in the disposal's metal teeth were fair game. But this is just not so. In fact, the garbage disposal actually ends up dumping into the sewer system along with the water being flushed with it (how I did not put those two together, I don't know). So really, we shouldn't be putting anything down the garbage disposal other than maybe food debris left over from dinner. Plastic Otter Pop tops are a definite no no, along with all the hard artichoke pieces I recall trying to jam down there... that body was probably a bad idea.. hmmmm.. ;)
I seriously do not know how I have gone through my entire life not knowing where the garbage disposal leads. In Germany, we didn't even HAVE a garbage disposal, so apparently the magic only happens in the United States. But it makes me a little nervous.. I mean, how many other things do I take for granted? I remember the first time I had to pull the garbage out to the curb because Dan was out in the field. The first time around, I forgot all together. Apparently, the garbage man does not have time to drag my garbage out from the backyard. German trash only gets picked up every other week, so by the time the NEXT garbage day rolled around, I was more than ready to get it out of my house before it grew legs or started talking. But get this! There is no magic "Trash Can Return" fairy! After days of our garbage cans being the only ones still sitting out on the street, the little old lady downstairs ended up dragging them back behind the house herself. Dan always did it without talking about it, so it never even crossed my mind that I would need to put them back. Along those same lines is my problem with washing my own car. I have four brothers and two dads, so there has never been any need for me to wash or clean out my own car. All I knew was that every couple of months, I would walk out to my car and find it fresh as a daisy with a wax job to boot. Obviously, the Car Wash Fairy had been running amock the night before. Imagine my surpirse when, upon getting married, my car started to get dirtier and dirtier without any explaination as to why. I had assumed Dan would be the new Car Wash Fairy. I guess the tights didn't fit.
Anyway, it's late, and I have to work bright and early tomorrow morning. I will be spending the day trying to refrain from using any words that Mason may subconsciously be storing away to use as blackmail against me when he goes through his terrible two's. Oh, and P.S., I looked it up. Damndest is a word, and therefore darndest gets to be a word by default.
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