I'll take the hurricane.

Man, it's been a rough couple of weeks. However, as the Bible says: "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me" (2 Corinthians 12:9). I have definitely been feeling weak.. in more areas than one.

I was sick from Friday until Tuesday of this last weekend. It SERIOUSLY sucked. I didn't even get out of bed for four days (aside from like, peeing, and that took effort), and threw up so much I got all crazy dehydrated. So then I had to go to urgent care and get IV's and three different medications. Fantastic. I normally have great veins, but they were so "dry", the nurse missed the first time. Now the inside of my right arm pretty much looks like I've been shooting up. The cool thing about getting sick was I reminded how great my family and friends are. I am loved, and that's always an awesome feeling.

Other than the physical sickness, I'm pretty emotionally sick these days as well. I think I just get overwhelmed. I'm not like, depressed or anything.. there's just a lot going on. There have been several people lately, people who are SUPER close to me, that I've had to practice tough love with. It really isn't any fun at all. What sucks is I end up feeling guilty. Even if I KNOW I'm totally in the right, these people know how to act and exactly what to say to make me feel like the worst and most cruel person on the planet. I've cried a LOT. I just have to trust that I'm doing what is right, and what is Biblical, and try not to dwell on it.. much easier said than done.

Seminary is insane right now as well. There was a huge mix-up with a bunch of students in one of my classes.. half my classmates had tests that never reached their destination, including my own. It ended up being a good thing in the end though.. long story, but it's awesome how God steps in and helps you out right when you need it. My next two classes started on the first, but for some reason, I didn't get the keys to it until the 7th. This means that I not only have to re-take the test from my last class, I'm also trying to play two weeks of catch-up. My student advisor has no idea why the got sent late, but luckily I'm not going to lose points in my classes. School is a tad overwhelming at the moment. I know it will be worth it in the end, and usually I totally love it.. but we all have weeks where we're just burned out.

I've also been having a lot of friend issues that I won't even go into. Sigh. Satan is on the offense in my life right now, for sure. But ya know, in all honesty, I kind of like so much going on. Yeah, it's stressful and overwhelming, but at least it isn't boring. I see some of the lives around me, and I would much rather being growing as a person and in Christ than not have anything going on at all. I'm a firm believer that, especially for Christians, if you honestly do not ever have any trials or hard times or whatever, you're doing something wrong. If Satan does not at least attack you every once in a while, that probably means you're living a life not worth attacking because you are not a threat. I want to be a threat, so, as the song says below, I'll take the hurricane.

"Saw first sight of a fire
Stepped right up to the flame
Could have taken my time
But I'm really not the type
To be shaken by what have
I was up for the fight
Pulled out into the water
Lost myself in the waves
I didn't really care
If all in love's not fair
I was going nowhere
And I was already there

Could have left town that night
Found a good place to hide
In the safety of a landslide
Far away from you
Could have just saved my life
Found higher ground to climb
Ask me to choose between
The boring and the pouring rain
I'll take the hurricane

Taped my heart to a window
Watched you shatter the glass
I was laughing all the while
Like an intoxicated child
Denying my denial
Guess I needed something wild

Should've left town that night
Found a good place to hide
In the safety of a landslide
Far away from you
Could have just saved my life
Found higher ground to climb
Ask me to choose between
The boring and the pouring rain
I'll take the hurricane

Guess I started the fire
Stepped right into the flame
I'll take the hurricane."
-Angie Mattson