Can I just say that Rachel's little adopted niece, Abigail, is the cutest baby ever? Ok, I know I say that about a lot of babies. I say it about Mason all the time, but he's kind of leaving the "baby" stage. Rachel's sister Sara needed a sitter at the last minute and I GLADLY took the job. Sara and Jon adopted Abby from Taiwan. She's so sweet and so full of love and smiles. I so did not want to leave!!
The past couple of days have been rough. Every once in a while, something will happen that will cause me to pause and look around and see just how fallen our world really is. The despair weighs me down. I cannot even begin to fathom how God manages to feel as much as He does. If we are made in His image, and if He feels everything we feel.. I just cannot process how He puts up with us. I have spent a LOT of time in tears the past few days.. my heart breaks for this world that is so lost. Our young people these days get sucked in and spat back out and we all just sit back and watch it happen. I want to be able to do more. I feel so powerless sometimes. I want to help SO SO badly.. I want to be able to help take the hurt away... but sometimes I do not even know where to start. I wish I had a better way of explaining myself... My heart just hurts. I have to be so careful not to let the emotional agony completely swallow me whole. I want God to use me, but most of the time I just feel like I'm wandering around in the dark, fumbling for purpose. Some sort of road map to my life would be fantastic right about now.
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