You know the saying: "There's a fine line between love and hate?" I believe that. Both are such crazy strong emotions that it would make sense people struggle with exactly what they're feeling.. especially when it's a person they KNOW they love or loved at some point. At any rate, I've recently realized something similar along those same lines: there is a very fine line between too soon and too late. Why do I feel like they are one in the same?
From "Handle With Care":
"You are the most beautiful thing that's ever happened to me, and the most painful... I love you, and I always will. Maybe more than I should... I thought that if I loved you hard enough, I could move mountains for you; I could make you fly. It didn't matter to me how that happened - just as long as it did. I wasn't thinking of who I might hurt, only who I could rescue... When it comes to memories, the good and the bad never balance" (273).
"'How can I miss him more when he's two feet away from me than when he's not around?'" (302).
"'A dutiful mother is someone who follows every step her child makes.' I said.
'And a good mother?'
I lifted my gaze to hers. 'Is someone whose child wants to follow HER'" (262).
"The more my hands moved, the less likely I was to let my mind wander... I'd left the pillows and bedding out, a just-in-case, as close as I could come to an apology. He came to the house every now and then to pick stuff up, but when he did, I felt like I was intruding. I would balance my checkbook, I would clean the bathroom, while listening to the two of you laugh in the other room... Sometimes I missed him viscerally. Sometimes I was angry at him. Sometimes I just wanted to turn back time... But mostly I wondered why the head could move so quickly while the heart dragged its feet. Even when I felt sure of myself and confident that I would be fine on my own, I still loved him. It felt like anything else permanent that has gone missing: a lost tooth, a severed leg. You might know better, but that doesn't keep your tongue from poking at the hole in your gum, or your phantom limb from aching" (268-269).
"This was worse than being judged by a jury of my peers. This was being judged by a jury of YOUR peers. I was, pure and simple, a failure... I cried until my eyes had swollen and my cheeks hurt. I cried until there was nothing left inside me" (271/272).
"Somewhere, in the deep creases of my mind - the folds where hope gets caught - I believed that whatever was wrong between you and me was reparable. It had to be, because when you love someone, you don't just suddenly lose that bond. Like any other energy, it can't be destroyed, just channeled into something else" (272).
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